73 Create a life where you live free of the fear of being “found out”GREG GRIFFIN. My would be to make your relationship a priority and ensure you are nurturing it through small but significant emotional and physical connections every day Developing daily ritual encounters – a mental check in with your partner (text email or phone call) or a meaningful kiss caress or hug can go a. Curiosity! The “honeymoon phase” always ends We start noticing things about our spouse that BOTHER us We think or worse say “You need to change!” INSTEAD, understand your beloved is DIFFERENT than you! Become compassionately curious about what makes them tick This will nurture 41 Keep secrets from your spouse and you are on the road to doom Dr LaWanda N Evans LPC 7. have empathy for each other’s feelings and resolve issues togetherMary Kay Cocharo LMFT Be curious about your partner’s differences and endeavor to understand both what hurts them and what makes them happy As your knowledge of the other increases with time be thoughtful – show real empathy when they’re triggered and forever encourage what makes. 8 Make an effort to know what makes your partner cringeSuzy Daren. Always mean what you say and say what you mean; kindly Always maintain eye-to-eye contact Read the soul In your discussions avoid using the words “Always and Never.” Unless it is Never stop kissing Always be kind Touch skin to skin hold hands Consider not only what you say to your partner but how the information is delivered; kindly Always greet the other with a touch of a kiss when coming home It doesn’t matter who reaches out er that the male and female are species and the genetic roles are different Respect and value them You are equal however you are different Walk the journey together not fused yet side. To new lovers hoping that whatever “quirks” they may see in their mates can be changed I assure them that those things will only intensify over time so to be sure that they not only love the individual but that they genuinely like the person Passion will wax and wane During the waning seasons you will be glad to have a friend who can turn on your mind in the same fashion they once ignited your body The other thing is that takes constant work just as breathing does The trick is to work so diligently at it that you become unaware of all the muscles you are using However let one become distressed and you will surely notice The key is to keep breathing. 9 Be the friend to your partner who turns on their mind and not just the bodyMyla. My best marriage advice for any couple is to truly seek to understand the messages your spouse is sending to you The best marriages are made of two people who know one another’s experiences and basic emotional needs; using that knowledge to understand the true messages behind their words Many couples struggle because they assume their own perception is the only way to see their relationship This is the cause of most conflict as both partners fight assumptions to be truly heard by one another Learning respecting and loving one another’s unique view of the world and the marriage allows each partner to understand the messages behind the anger and hurt their partner displays in the darkest moments They can see through the anger to get to the heart of the issues and use the conflict to build a better relationship. 37 Be nice don’t bite each other’s heads off Courtney Geter. I would recommend that couples share something vulnerable with each other each day because couples who stop being vulnerable and “play it safe” can find themselves feeling more and more distant from each other as time goes on and daily responsibilities compete with relationship needs The I would give is: If something isn’t going well in the relationship don’t blame and point the finger at your partner As difficult as it is to make a relationship work you must point the finger at yourself Ask yourself today what am I doing to meet my partner’s needs? Focus on what you can do not on what your partner is or isn’t doing. Focus on BECOMING a great spouse instead of HAVING a great spouse A successful is about self-mastery You becoming better (better at loving forgiving patience communication) will make your better. Make your the priority means to make your spouse your priority. 25 Work at creating a positive change in your marriageLISA FOGEL MA LCSW-R I would advise a married couple to look for the good in each other There will always be things about your partner that annoy you or disappointment you What you focus on will shape your Focus on the positive qualities of your partner This will increase happiness. If I could give a Married couple only one recommendation it would be to make sure they maintain their “Quality Time” balance of a minimum 2 hours a week To be clear by “Quality time” I mean a date night/day Furthermore never go more than one month without replenishing this balance 75 Nurture your relationship through small connectionsLISA CHAPIN. The relationship that exists between you and your spouse exists nowhere else on this planet It is yours and yours alone When you share details of your relationship with family friends or coworkers you’re inviting other people into space where they don’t belong and that dishonors the relationship.I can’t think of a single living thing on this planet that thrives with no attention or nurturing and the same holds true in our s We cannot put it on auto-pilot pouring our love energy and attention into kids work or everything else that needs attention and expect that the relationship will magically grow and thrive on. Remember to continue to be curious about your partner Seek to understand their perspective before you get defensive Own your part in misunderstandings work hard to communicate your thoughts and feelings dreams and interests and find ways to connect in little ways daily Remember you are love partners not enemies Be a safe place emotionally and look for the good in. 55 Be your partner’s best friend LAURA GALINIS LPC Counselor If you had to give an to a married couple what would that be?” 36 Identify what ticks you off and equip yourself to disarm your triggersJAIME SAIBIL M.A Expect that you are you and they are them and that you connected and married because this was your friend your person and the one that you felt you could conquer the world with Expect you will be unhappy and that you are the only one to make yourself truly happy! It’s an inside-out process all of the time It is your responsibility to ask for what you need contribute your part to be able to feel all those expectations positive and negative and at the end of the day still expect that person to kiss you goodnight. Stop trying to communicate when you are angry Whatever you are trying to say will not be heard as you would like it to be Process your own.
30 Cut your partner some slack Courtney Ellis ,LMHC Counselor Give your partner the benefit of the doubt Take them at their word and trust that they too are trying What they say and feel is valid just as much as what you say and feel is valid Have faith in them believe them at their word and assume the best. Having a fulfilling relationship is like being good tango partners It’s not necessarily who is the strongest dancer but it is about how two partners use each other’s strengths and weaknesses for the fluidity and the beauty of. We offer you the best by the best relationship experts to help you have a happy and fulfilling married life-1 Save your breath for the time when you are in a cool headspace Joan. Invest in a strong friendship with your partner While sex and physical intimacy are important in a marital satisfaction increases if both partners feel there is a strong friendship holding the marital foundation So make the same (if not more!) effort with your partner as you do with your friends. 31 Learn to oscillate between elation and disappointmentSARA NUAHN. 34 Invest in your – Date nights praises and financesSANDRA WILLIAMS. 38 Make commitment For a long really long haulLynda Cameron Price Ed.S. 40 Accept that your spouse is not your cloneLaurie Heller LPC The best that I would give any married couple is to understand what true commitment means So very often we have difficulties committing to anything for a long period of time We change our minds just like we change our clothes True commitment in is loyalty even when no one is looking and choosing to love and stay the course regardless of how you feel at that moment. Many individuals begin relationships with unrealistic expectations about what a relationship looks like It is often fueled by romantic comedies and what the individual perceives as “romantic” or “loving” or “happy” Chances are if you are convinced that the latest movie starring (insert your favorite Actor here) is the way a relationship is supposed to look and your life does not resemble the movie you are likely to be disappointed Often when we are in the dating phases of the relationship we overlook aspects of the individual that we do not like We do this because we believe that once we are in a committed relationship we can change or modify the things that we do not like The truth is committed relationships will highlight all aspects of your partner The ones you like and especially the ones that you do not like The things you do not like will not disappear once a commitment. Find a way to communicate effectively By that I mean how will the two of you express emotions like hurt anger frustration appreciation,and love in a way that both of you can feel heard and understood? Effective communication is an art form and each couple can be different in how they navigate it Learning effective communication can take a lot of time practice and patience- and it can be done! Good communication is a major ingredient to happy healthy relationships. We often feel that relationships require us to give a lot of time and energy which is true requires consistent effort and attention if it is to be successful When building a relationship and then possibly a family couples can become so immersed in this process they lose themselves While it is essential to be aligned with your partner it is also important to have your own interests and develop as an individual. 2 Tell your partner or spouse that you want to understand his/her perspective To really listen you must step outside your ego and put a stop to any thoughts that criticize your partner for her/his position Try to become authentically curious about why s/he is having that particular reaction 3 Look for the kernel of truth in your partner’s position—the truth that exists in your spouse or partner’s perspective Maybe s/he feels that you’ve been inconsiderate in some way or that you haven’t been keeping up with your share of the household responsibilities Whatever the case your partner’s viewpoint feels totally valid to him/her and trying to dispute this will only increase the divide between you So listen carefully and work toward understanding rather than formulating a counterattack. Fight fair with your partner Don’t take cheap shots name call or otherwise forget that you are invested in the long-distance run Keeping boundaries in place for tough moments are subconscious reminders that you will still wake up in the morning to face another day together. Get into your partner’s world as much as you can We all live in our own bubble of reality that’s based on our past experiences and we wear rose-colored glasses that alter our perspectives Instead of trying to get your partner to see and understand you and your perspective do your best to see and understand theirs Inside of that generosity you will be able to truly love and appreciate them If you can mix this with an unconditional acceptance of what you find when you get inside of their world you will have mastered the partnership. Unresolved repetitive conflict is a top reason many couples seek relationship and counseling However s are a natural normal part of intimate relationships Whenever two people live in close quarters and allow themselves to become vulnerable with each other sooner or later misunderstandings and conflict are likely to result. Finally all the skills in the world won’t do you any good unless you’ve decided to accept the influence of your partner – to let them affect how you think feel and act – and you include their well being and happiness in the actions you take and the decisions. When I am counseling a couple I stress the importance of respect in a It is so easy to become complacent when you live with someone 24/7 It is easy to see the negatives and forget the positives Sometimes expectations aren’t met the fairytale dream may not be fulfilled and people often turn against each other rather than working together I teach that when ‘courting’ it is important to build a best friend relationship and to always treat your spouse like you do your best friend because that is who they are Reassess wherein your power lies You do not have the power or the magic it might take to change your spouse Use your power to change the way you respond to your spouse Too often partners react in a manner that creates distance – both physical and emotional Pause breathe and reflect on the goal of connection Choose a response that aligns with. 10 Be sincere in your intent and words; demonstrate more Vines Psy.D Keep your structures healthy Share your feelings daily Praise each other at least twice a day Spiritually connect every day Keep sex consistent and both of you initiate regularly Make time to have a date at least a couple times a month Treat each other like lovers instead of spouses Respect each other as people and friends Protect your from predators like these: being too busy other outside relationships and entertainment. You can’t just do nothing and expect love to thrive Much as you would keep the flames burning by adding logs to it in a fireplace so it is within a marital relationship you need to keep adding logs to the fire through relationship building activities communication and meeting each other’s needs – whatever those. 39 Mirror your partner’s communication style to facilitate better understandingGIOVANNI MACCARRONE B.A The best advice I can give to a married couple is not to underestimate the power of communication Spoken and unspoken communication is so impactful that couples often aren’t aware of how significant a role their communication style plays in their relationship Communicate often and with authenticity Don’t assume your partner knows or understand how you feel Even in relationships where you have been together for a long time your partner will never be able to read your mind and the reality is you don’t want them to either. Nurture the other one extra step If you know their soul has been troubled in the past help them honor their past Listen with love You have earned what you have learned You have earned choice You have learned insight compassion empathy and safety Apply Bring them into the with your love Discuss the future yet live the present. You chose that person to do life’s journey with and it may not be the fairytale you envisioned Sometimes bad things happen in families – illness financial problems death a rebellion of children – and when tough times come remember that your best friend is coming home to you every day and they deserve to be respected by you Let the tough times draw you closer together rather than pull you apart Look for and remember the awesomeness you saw in your partner when you were planning a life together Remember the reasons you are together and overlook the character flaws We all have them Love each other unconditionally and grow through the problems Respect each other always and in all things find. In its simplicity this may seem like an easy task However keeping your cool in a heated moment requires a great deal of resolve You will need to listen to your partner’s message and show that you understand his/her position (This of course doesn’t mean that you give up your position in the ) Relationship Help: 3 steps to defusing an 1 Place your opinion temporarily on hold (easier said than done especially if you feel that you are being treated unfairly) and take a few deep breaths to relax your body (physical tension is common during s and will only fuel your frustration—you can even call a momentary time-out if you’re feeling overwhelmed). 43 Honour and support each other’s dreams Barbara Winter PH.D PA Psychologist and Sexologist There are so many things to consider as it all depends on where the couple is in their development. Take responsibility for your own contribution to the problems in your It’s easy to point the finger to your partner but very difficult to point the finger at yourself Once you can do this you can resolve issues rather than having a right-wrong 19 Ask more questions assumptions are bad for a relationship’s healthAyo Akanbi MFT OACCPP 70 Boost your partner’s morale – be more appreciative and less critical of themSAMARA SEROTKIN PSY.D Make your relationship a priority! Schedule a repeating time for your relationship every week build on the quality of your friendship invest in learning about relationships Apply what you have learned Most of us were never taught how to have a successful relationship It is important to learn how to communicate especially during conflict Remember the little things matter Take time to dream express gratitude and love to each other Keep the spontaneity alive and be gentle with one another you both are doing the best you can Always remember that your partner is not your enemy and that the words you use in anger will remain long after the fight is over. So make your point firmly but gently The respect you show your partner especially in anger will build a strong foundation for many years to come 27 Refrain from treating your partner with contempt; silent treatment is a big noESTHER LERMAN MFT 4 Don’t play it safe all the timeMirel Goldstein MS. 66 How you communicate is just as important as what you communicate – cultivate the artANGELA FICKEN LICSW People tend to fear uncertainty and unfamiliarity When we debate intellectualize or share harsh emotions with our partners that tends to drum up fears in him/her about uncertainty in the relationship Instead examining what our “softer” emotions are such as how our partner’s behavior activates those fears of uncertainty and learning how to share those can be disarming and increase closeness. 59 Protect your Relationship – turn the auto-pilot mode offSharon Pope Life Coach and Author 24 Respect each other and don’t get stuck in the rut of marital complacencyEva L Shaw,Ph.D. 20 Be open to conflicts ruptures and the repair that follows Andrew Rose ,LPC MA Counselor People need to feel secure in their relationship to get the value of coupling Security is built through rupture and repair Don’t shy from conflict Make room for fear grief and anger and reconnect and reassure each other after an emotional or logistical rupture. We invite therapists counselors coaches and experts to contribute and share their expertise We also welcome you to share personal stories and relationship Take a course together on Non-Violent Communication (Rosenberg) and use it. Try hard to also see all issues from your partner’s perspective Eliminate “right” and “wrong” – negotiate what can work for each of you. If you react strongly your past may be being triggered; be willing to examine that possibility with an experienced counselor Talk directly about the sexuality you share: appreciations and requests. Guard a date time in your calendars reserved for fun for just the two of you minimum every. 46 Don’t box your partner – be mindful of how your partner really isAmira Posner BSW MSW RSWw Counselor The best I could give a married couple is to get present with yourself and your relationship Really present like get to know him/her all. Expect to have times that are amazing and times that are frustrating and aggravating Expect to not feel validated or seen heard and noticed at times and also expect that you will be placed on such a high pedestal your heart may not be able to handle it Expect that you will be in love just like the day you met and also expect that you will have times you dislike each other a whole lot Expect that you will laugh and cry and have the most amazing moments and joys and also expect you will be sad and angry and scared All of us have an idea of the person we would love to be with We started as early as elementary school having a “crush” on the teacher or another student We observed our parents in the relationship with each other and other relatives We sensed what we were attracted to blonde tall great smile romantic etc We felt when we had “chemistry” with certain others But what about that other list? The deeper elements that make a relationship work 44 Introspect on how well you are faring at meeting your spouse’s expectationsSarah Ramsay LMFT Every has a share of highs and lows While there is no trouble getting through the blissful moments overcoming marital problems is rather challenging For a successful what’s important is to understand how to navigate through those problems and learning to resolve them Letting your marital issues fester can wreak havoc on your relationship All couples go through tough phases entailing intricate and tedious problems No matter how long you have been married getting through them doesn’t get any easier But some tips from the experts can surely help you deal with the issues better without having any damaging effects. 18 Own up to your mistakesGerald Schoenewolf Ph.D. 60 Weather the storms of life together with patience RENNET WONG-GATES MSW RSW RP Social Worker When adults make a decision to partner with each other they relate through their formed identities. 72 Acceptance is the path to salvationDr Kim Dawson Psy.D. 6. open up more to your partner and build a strong relationshipBrenda Whiteman B.A R.S.W 16 Avert rash decisions by accepting your own feelingsRussell S Strelnick LCSW Therapist Moving from ‘don’t just sit there do something’ to ‘don’t just do something sit there’ is the best skill to develop within myself to sustain a viable intimate relationship My to couples is to know where you end and your partner begins Yes it is important to have a close connection communicate and find time to have bonding experiences but your individuality is just as important If you are dependent on your partner for entertainment comfort support etc it can create pressure and disappointment when they don’t meet all of your needs It’s best to have friends family and other interests outside of your so that your partner is not responsible for your entire. 2 Know how to listen and be fully present for your partnerMelissa Lee-Tammeus Ph.D LMHc It’s a good idea to make a woman read these quotes before her wedding day These cute and funny for the bride will make her glow with glee Humorous for grooms All men appreciate a little humor and when it comes to the lighthearted the better A few pieces of funny for men include: At times you don’t have to like your spouse but being nice to them will make working through conflict much easier and more pleasant for all involved It also begins to show more respect toward them which is also very important in building and maintaining a This also improves conflict resolution by removing passive-aggressive behaviors When I meet a couple who are clearly not “playing nice” with each other one of my first tasks for them to is “to be nice over the next week” and I ask them to choose one thing they could do differently to achieve. 56 Build a marital friendship for enhanced emotional and physical intimacySTACI SCHNELL M.S C.S LMFT Be friends first and remember you are on the same team! With the Super Bowl coming up it is a great time to think about what makes a winning successful team rise above the best of the best? First identifying what you are fighting for together! Next teamwork understanding listening playing together and following each other’s lead What is your team’s name? Pick a team name for your household (The Smith’s Team) and use it reminding each other and all in the family that you are on the same team working together Determine what you are fighting FOR as opposed to fighting against each other and happiness will follow. My one is simple: Talk talk and talk again I encourage my clients to process what whatever the situation is and find time to talk about it Talking is key It is also important that they listen to each other and ask questions Neither should assume. When handled with tact and sensitivity conflict can have an important function in your relationship or A conflict can help clear the air of pent-up resentments; it can act as a powerful form of communication that lets your partner know what is important to you Conflict can even pave the way for smoother times giving your partner a blueprint to better understand your needs When conflicts become too intense a cycle of attack and counter-attack prevents any real communication from occurring s that are repetitive and spiral out of control offer no benefit for the couple The goal should therefore be to keep the level of intense emotions that accompany conflict manageable. 35 Negotiate what’s acceptable and what’s notSHAVANA FINEBERG PH.D. So…i ask can you be the person you want to be with? Can you be understanding? Can you listen without judging? Can you keep secrets? Can you be considerate and thoughtful? Can you love like the first time? Can you be patient gentle and kind? Can you be trusted loyal and supportive? Can you be forgiving faithful (to God also) and wise? Can you be funny sexy and excited? We often require more than we consciously give “Being the person you want to be with” suddenly became much more than I imagined as I contemplated this dream It caused me to take unending glances into the mirror of my selfishness I became more mindful of myself after all I’m the only person I can change Mindfulness in does not imply becoming numb or detached from emotions Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated If you want respect – give respect; if you want love – give love; if you want to be trusted – trust them; if you want kindness – be kind Be the kind of a person you want your partner. Express appreciation to each other Even if you have to dig to find something you appreciate about them seek it and speak it is hard work and we all could use a boost now and then – especially from the person we see the most Be aware of your thoughts Most of us spend a lot of time thinking about things – especially our partners If you find yourself complaining to yourself about them pause and find a way to constructively address the issue with them Don’t let it fester and become toxic. 21. need a great spouse? Become one to your partner firstClifton Brantley M.A LMFTA 63 Schedule a relationship check in to discuss and overcome fears and doubtsDr Jerren Weekes-Kanu Ph.D MA We all want to feel understood especially by our loved ones When statements of understanding begin to enter into the conflict you’ll be surprised at how quickly the intensity of the decreases And with a decrease in emotional intensity the stage will be set for healthier and more effective communication All best Dr Rich Nicastro Download the PDF version of this article Is a journey a constantly evolving relationship that requires listening learning adapting and allowing influence is work but if it is not also fun and playfully it is probably not worth the effort The best is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be relished and embraced. Rich Nicastro PhD is a licensed psychologist and /couples counselor in Georgetown Texas He has worked with hundreds of individuals and couples on a wide range of relationship issues for over two decades. The best I would give to a married couple would be to know yourself What that means is to not only become significantly acquainted with your own triggers blind spots and hot buttons but also obtain the tools necessary to manage them so that they don’t get in your way We all have ‘hot buttons’ or triggers that were developed early on in our lives No one goes unscathed here If you’re not aware of them they will get hit on by your partner without even knowing it’s happened which often times can lead to conflict and disconnection If however you are aware of them and have learned to disarm them when triggered you can prevent fifty-percent if not more of the conflicts you experience with your partner and spend more time focusing on attention affection appreciation and connection. We invite therapists counselors coaches and experts to contribute and share their expertise We also welcome you to share personal stories and relationship Is work No relationship can survive without both parties putting in the work Work in a happy healthy does not feel like work in the essence of a chore or a to-do type of thing But taking time to listen to schedule quality time to prioritize each other and to share feelings are all work that pays off Trust each other with your vulnerabilities and respect each other with authenticity (not passive-aggression) That kind of work will offer you a lifetime of rewards 26 Make your point firmly but gentlyAmy Sherman. 53. Wear your individuality badge – your partner is NOT responsible for your entire wellbeingLEVANA SLABODNICK LISW-S Often times we run on autopilot in how we relate to ourselves our experience and our interpersonal relationships We tend to react from a certain position or a fixed way of seeing things We tend to put out partners in a box and this can instigate a breakdown in communication When we take the time to slow down and cultivate mindful awareness we can choose to respond in a different way We create the space to see and experience things differently. The best piece of that I recommend for couples is to always play on the same team Playing on the same team means always having each other’s backs working towards the same goals and sometimes it means carrying your team member when they need support We all know there is no “I” in a team and is no exception. Keep your relationship on the front burner It’s all too easy for kids jobs everyday life to run our lives and often it is the couple relationship that takes the backseat Build into this time time for both intimate and problem-solving conversations so stay connected and don’t sweep problems under the rug 14 Build prowess in both verbal and non-verbal communicationJaclyn Hunt MA. The more you say the more you talk the more you express your feelings the more you tell your partner how you feel and what you’re thinking the more you open up with your true self – the more likely it is that you will build a solid foundation for your relationship now and for the future. Hiding thoughts and feelings is a sure-fire way to unravel the foundation of your intimacy. 71 Focus on feelings instead of absolutes for a more productive conversation Maureen Gaffney Lcsw 3 Disconnection is inevitable and so is reconnectionCandice Creasman Mowrey Ph.D LPC-S My to married couples is to stay actively engaged with each other Too many couples allow the busyness of life children work and other distractions to create distance between themselves If you’re not taking time each day to nurture each other you increase the likelihood of growing apart The demographic with the highest rate of divorce today are couples who have been married for 25 years Don’t become part of those statistics. Expect to be unhappy I know what you’re thinking who says that!? Not helpful for a married couple Or positive in any way But hear me out We get into relationships and thinking expecting rather that it is going to make us happy and secure And in reality that is not the case If you go into expecting it the person or the environment to make you happy then you better start planning to be irritated and resentful unhappy a lot of. In working with couples in my practice one of the biggest sources of underlying pain comes from not feeling heard or understood Often this is because we know how to talk but not listen Be fully present for your partner Put down the phone put away the tasks and look at your partner and simply listen If you were asked to repeat what your partner said could you? If you could not listening skills may need to be tightened up!
Know that it’s ok to fight sometimes the issue is how you fight and how long does it take to recover? Can you resolve or forgive or let go in a fairly short amount of time? When you fight or just interact with each other are you defensive and/or critical? Or do you use “the silent treatment”? What’s especially important to watch out for is contempt This attitude is often the destroyer of a relationship None of us can be totally loving all the time but these particular ways of relating are truly harmful. In marriage we tend to repeat patterns from childhood Your spouse does the same If you can change the patterns of how you respond to your spouse systems theory has shown there will also be a change in how your spouse responds to you You are often reacting to your spouse and if you can do the work to change this you can create a positive change not only in yourself but also in your marriage. Learning to accept and tolerate my own feelings and thoughts so that I reduce my fearful reactive and urgent need to ‘do something about it’ allows the time needed for me to return to the clarity of thought and emotional balance in order to exit the mess instead of making. 64. plan and create a meaningful life togetherCaroline Steelberg Psy.D LLC Invest In Your Regularly: Come together and identify types of investments (i.e date night budget appreciation) that matter to your Separately list things that are important to each of you Next talk through the investments you both believe are important for your Commit to doing what it takes to having marital wealth. Disconnection is a natural part of relationships even the ones that last! We tend to expect our love relationships to maintain the same level of closeness all the time and when we feel ourselves or our partners drifting it can feel like the end is near Don’t panic! Remind yourself it is normal and then work on reconnecting. 28 Be authentic in your communicationKERRI-ANNE BROWN LMHC. 17 Be on the same team and happiness will followDr Joanna Oestmann LMHC. Tends to be so serious Spending and building a life with someone should be taken seriously but like all things in life there is a lighthearted and very humorous side to Funny is actually more likely to click whether it is funny for newlyweds funny tips geared towards men or for brides.
“i never lie but he does so how can I ever trust him again?” Very few things in life are always or never and yet these are words we go to easily during an When you find yourself using these words pause for a moment and think about a time you may have lied Perhaps a little white lie when you were running late If you focus on how the behavior makes you feel instead of how often it happens it opens you both up to talk instead of feeling judged or ashamed. Beneath the surfaces are each person’s unmet needs and unresolved issues along with their imagination for possibilities To weather life together we also need patience self-examination forgiveness and the courage of vulnerability to stay emotionally and physically connected 61. Extend the olive branchMOSHE RATSON MBA MS. I would advise married couples to spend time routinely discussing relevant fears doubts or insecurities that they experience related to their relationship Unresolved fears and doubts can have an erosive effect on For example one partner fearing that he/she is no longer desired by their spouse is enough to shift their behavior and the relationship dynamics in ways that decrease marital satisfaction (e.g increased hostility pulling away during intimacy withdrawing or creating physical and/or emotional distance in other ways) Don’t let unspoken fears sabotage your ; regularly discuss them in a warm open-minded and validating conversational environment. 54 Leverage each other’s strength and weakness to create a beautiful synergyDR KONSTANTIN LUKIN PH.D. 67. treat your partner the way you would like to be treatedEVA SADOWSKI. 15 Take care of your health and protect it from ‘predators’DOUGLAS WEISS PH.D The best I would give is to continue to treat each other the way you did when you were dating By that I mean act very happy when you first see or talk to each other and be kind Some of these things can fall by the wayside when you have been with someone for a while Sometimes the way spouses treat each other would not have gotten a second date let alone to the altar! Think about how you may be taking each other for granted or if you have been remiss in treating your spouse well in. These funny wedding will not only make the groom giggle but give him some wisdom to tread the path of more carefully. 29. Ditch those rose-colored glasses! Learn to see your partner’s perspectiveKERI ILISA SENDER-RECEIVER. Make decisions as if your spouse were with you even when s/he is not Live so that if your spouse surprised you by showing up wherever you were (on a business trip out with friends or even when you’re alone) you would be excited to welcome him or her It’s a great feeling to live free of the fear of being “found out”. 23 Take time to process the situation before responding Raffi Bilek ,LCSWC The number one tip to have a passionate is to communicate to them using THEIR communication style Do they take in information & communicate using their visual cues (seeing is believing) their audio (whisper in their ears) kinesthetic (touch them when talking to them) or other? Once you learn their style you can communicate perfectly to them and they will actually understand you! 45 Get to the basics – tap into your partner’s primal needsDeidre A Prewitt. The newlywed stage is one of the best Newlyweds haven’t had time to grow tired of each other they still bother to look good for one another and quirks are still “cute” All kidding aside here is some helpful and funny for newlyweds: These funny quotes for newlyweds will surely add spunk in the relationship and bring the couple closer to each other Humorous for brides Funny for the bride is always a huge help The ones below are sure to give you a. 58. keep learning how to be a best friend to your partnerCARALEE FREDERIC LCSW. 74 Spend quality time with your partnerMendim. Although it seems simple my best to married couples is simply “be nice to each other.” More times than not couples who end up on my couch are nicer to me than they are the person they’re going home with Yes after months or years of discord in the relationship you might not like your spouse anymore That “chip on the shoulder” could lead you to be passive aggressive whether it’s stopping for dinner on the way home and not bringing your spouse anything or leaving dirty dishes in the sink when you know that really annoys them 11 Share your softer emotions with your partner for a lasting closenessDr Trey Cole Psy.D. Make sure you understand what your spouse is telling you before offering a response or explanation Make sure your spouse feels you understand him/her as well Until everyone feels they are on the same page with whatever the problem is you cannot even begin to solve the problem. Be Friends! Friendship is one of the characteristics of a happy and lasting Building and nurturing the marital friendship can strengthen a because friendship in is known to build emotional and physical intimacy Friendship helps married couples to feel safe enough to be more open with one another without worrying about being judged or feeling insecure Couples that are friends look forward to spending time together and genuinely like one another Their activities and interests actually become enhanced because they have their favorite person to share their life experiences with Having your spouse as your best friend can be one of the great benefits of 12. needs regular maintenance don’t be lax about itDr Mic Hunter LMFT Psy.D. My would be to communicate about everything don’t keep secrets because secrets destroy s never assume that your spouse automatically knows or understands what your needs are how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking and never take each other for granted These factors are very important to the success and longevity. 22 Don’t let busyness hijack your relationship stay engaged with each otherEddie Capparucci . 5 Put in the work to enjoy a rewarding Lynn R Zakeri Lcsw Give thought to your Determine what you and your spouse need and want from now and in the future Schedule a regular time to share listen and discuss how to make it happen Create a meaningful life together! 65 Ask yourself if you got your partner’s back Lindsay Goodlin Lcsw 42 Make expressing love to each other as a non-negotiable component of your marriageKATIE LEMIEUX LMFT 52 Date your spouse like you are not married to themDR MARNI FEUERMAN. I would say that since today we are so focused on ‘happiness’ which is all about how we make meaning of our lives that together they look at individual and/or shared dreams.”Purpose” another buzz word of the decade is about fulfillment of not just each of us but of the couple-ship what do you want to create? what do you want to experience? Individual or Shared dreams-Anything goes: the important piece is to hear honor and support them another major one is to maintain connection we need to turns towards (aka-lean in) and listen honor acknowledge validate challenge spar touch with our partner we need to be heard; we cannot be dismissed this is particularly important today since we have in some ways less opportunity for real connection. My is simple Be clear and be honest about what you want in a relationship and be and be accepting about what you have in a relationship at this time Not what you think it could turn into or what would happen if this or that would change If you are counting on something to change in your partner in order for you to be happy in the relationship you are setting yourself up for failure Accept who you partner is and understand that they are more than likely not going to have a significant change in their characteristics If you can be happy with who that person is right now then you are more likely to be content with your relationship 47 All’s fair in love and war – that’s Verna ,ATR LCAT 50 Drop that defense! Own your part in conflictsNancy Ryan LMFT Counselor. 32 Cultivate a habit to overlook the flaws and wartsDr Tari Mack ,Psy D 51 Love thrives only when you nourish and nurture the relationship consistentlyLola Sholagbade M.A R.P C.C.C. The number one piece of a therapist or any professional would give to a married couple is communicate with each other! I always laugh at this because it’s one thing to tell people to communicate and another thing to show them what this means Communication involves both verbal and non-verbal expressions When you communicate with your partner make sure you are looking at them make sure you are experiencing internally what they are conveying to you externally and then ask to follow up questions and show them outwardly your understanding or confusion until both of you are on the same page and satisfied Communication is reciprocal both verbally and through intricate non-verbal indicators That is the best brief I could ever offer a couple. There are a few things that rise to the top: “At one point you married one another because you couldn’t imagine living life without this person in it Nurture the habit of looking for the positives in one another every day Say it Write it down Show them how lucky/blessed you are to have them in your life It really is true that good s are built on the foundation of a good friendship – and now there are scads of research to prove it Learn how to be a really good friend Keep learning how to be a best friend to your partner We all change over time and there are some parts that stay the same Pay attention. 68 Harness your inner strength to respond in a better fashion with your spouseDr Lyz DeBoer Kreider Ph.D. 48 Let go of what’s beyond your area of controlSAMANTHA BURNS M.A LMHC No relationship is free of misunderstanding s disappointments and frustration When you keep score or wait for an apology the relationship goes south Be proactive break the negative cycle and repair what went wrong Then extend the olive branch make peace and move beyond the past toward a brighter future 62 Get a life! (Read – a constructive hobby)Stephanie Robson MSW,RSW 57 Be the person you want to be withDr Jo Ann Atkins . 49 (In hindsight) Deafness blindness and Dementia are good for a happy marriageDAVID O SAENZ PH.D EDM LLC Psychologist Statements from couples married 60+ years How do we make it work so well after decades together: Consciously choose to let go of what you can’t change about someone and focus on what you love about him or her A brain scan study of couples that are still passionately in love after twenty-one years on average of showed these partners have the special ability to overlook the things that get under their skin and hyper-focus on what they adore about their partner The best way to do this is through the daily practice of gratitude appreciating one thoughtful thing they did. People who do regular maintenance on their cars find that their cars run better and last longer People who do regular maintenance on their homes find they continue to enjoy living there Couples who treat their relationships with at least as much care as they do their material objects are happier than those couples who don’t 13 Make your relationship your highest priorityBob Taibbi LCSW Participating in an activity that does not include your partner I.e learning a musical instrument joining a book club taking a photography class whatever it may be gives you an opportunity to develop you This can be a great way to recharge and feel a renewed sense of energy as well as a sense of accomplishment that will compliment a healthy relationship. 69. get real (Chuck those romantic comedies ideas about a relationship)KIMBERLY VANBUREN MA LMFT LPC-S 33 Intersperse the seriousness of business with fun and playfulnessRONALD B.